Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
