I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
