what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
