guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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