trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
