If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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