so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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