three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
