i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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