am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I could fuck to npr.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize