My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
