Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I am spending my child support on dildos
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
