If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
