Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
