Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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