My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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