his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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