i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
