look no pants
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
