people are starting to question the shark bite story
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
wow bdsm is so cute
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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