do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Is it because I queefed?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I think I just sharted jello shots
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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