you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize