Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
