Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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