i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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