I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
