Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
stop calling my apartment porn island.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
