WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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