addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
