i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
