the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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