I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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