he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
