i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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