im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
