my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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