I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
