Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
