I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
