How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize