Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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