every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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