This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
