I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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