i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
