well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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