Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
