If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
