The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Sorry my hands just texted you
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize