He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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