i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
