The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize