he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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