we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Randomize
