he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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