I wannas sexs uuuuu
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
