on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
