it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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