She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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