so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
