I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
