Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
